Strictly an Idiot
by leafiephoenix
Summary: Hanai ponders upon his life as the Nishiura captain, had a couple of unanswered questions...only to have his thoughts drift to Tajima, the seemingly obvious idiot. But at the end of the day, he couldn't help but wonder who the real idiot is. Hana/Taji


Tajima was always grinning, that idiot. Like there was no worry left in the world; as if life was carefree.

'Carpe Diem, much?' Hanai chuckled to himself. He wasn't even sure if Tajima knew what Carpe Diem meant, but that was way out of the question.

The truth be told, Hanai's responsibility as the team captain was anything but carefree. He had multiple obligations to fill, whether it was on or off the pitch. His teammates looked up to him for guidance, baseball or academic-related. Damn it, he hadn't even been thrilled at being voted captain, much less anticipating the tasks that followed suit. But it had been a unanimous decision nonetheless, and he had been genuinely shocked.

He did come to realize, however, that it had been the team's unspoken, almost ethereal gift for him; a gift of unyielding trust. It felt good to have them place all that faith in him – it held to much meaning to him; something he would always treasure. Despite that, the light of painful truth dawned upon him only a split second later.

The fact that the team's trust was not exactly what you would call...a gift.

It was more like a curse.

Because, recounting from experience, Hanai believed that he would let people down more than lifting them up, because...that was what he believed he had always done. Probably, that was part of the reason why he had been less than eager to bat in the first team meeting.

Now he was beginning to sound like Mihashi, and he was sure as hell that he was _nothing_ like Mihashi.

If he had any insecurity about being the captain, though, he hid it well. He loved challenges, didn't he? He lived and breathed challenge. So why the talk about insecurity even emerged?

'Damnit, Asuza,' he slapped his forehead, rebuking himself. 'Why are you thinking like this?' He proceeded to take a deep breath, just for the sake of calming down.

'If there was anyone worthy of being named the most confident, that'd be me,' he thought, trying to be optimistic. However, he failed to imagine himself as the cockiest man on the team _and_ being optimistic, because, that idiot Tajima would definitely beat him without flinching at both counts. There was really no point in challenging that.

There melted his confidence, like a pool of goo.

Which led to an even more interesting and important question: Who would return the same kind of support he unconditionally gave to them, when he needed it the most? Would it be Abe, his vice-captain?

'Well, Abe's off limits, isn't he?' Hanai smiled wryly as he glanced swiftly at Mihashi.

Then, would it be the sunny Sakaeguchi, the second of his vice-captains?

'Hmm...maybe...' but he eventually flustered. Rubbing at his temples furiously, he succumbed to the headache he himself had caused. 'Hell, why do I even worry? Someone'll be there, for sure. Who cares if it's the sunny Sakaeguchi or the macho Izumi or the sensible Suyama or whomever?'

Even if he was lying to himself; he probably wouldn't want to admit that there was _someone_ who could make a difference, far-and-wide from the rest. He was a tad too stubborn, after all. Didn't his teammates choose him as captain somewhat because of that particular quality?

With that last thought kept reeling in his mind, Hanai closed his eyes, trying to block the blinding sunlight from his view. Even then, he could sense the slightest movement in front of him. His eyes fluttered open, half expecting to see Shinooka playing with Ai-chan, or Abe reprimanding (comforting?) Mihashi, or Momokan reprimanding everybody else.

What he saw though, startled him senseless.

A pair of intrepid, dark eyes staring right back at him. Plus a cluster of freckles.

And that infamous grin that could only be _his_.

"Tajima!!" Hanai yelped out of shock, almost falling off his seat.

"Daydreaming?" Tajima asked curiously, his shiny-shimmering eyes never leaving Hanai's littlest gestures, even when the captain fidgeted. "Who's the lucky girl?"

Hanai grunted. He should have guessed that any conversation with Tajima would somehow lead down that path. "No girl," he retorted briskly, before the seemingly-always-horny-teenager in front of him could come up with any less-than-brilliant ideas.

One of Tajima's eyebrows hitched, his expression a little bit surprised. "Strictly?"

Hanai narrowed his eyes. "Yes, Tajima. Strictly," he replied, half-annoyed.

"Then..." Tajima inquired hesitantly, "...what are you daydreaming about?"

The question totally threw Hanai off-guard.

It was not because of Tajima's straightforwardness. Neither did Hanai have anything to feel guilty about in the first place, because his thoughts had been everything but impure. It was not even because of the question itself.

Rather, it startled him because the word, _'You,'_ was already on the tip of Hanai's tongue, as if it had been the most natural answer to all of Tajima's questions.

Pulling himself together, Hanai promptly settled with "It's none of your business," and insisted that they should start practicing, instead of wasting time for some meaningless chit-chat.

Tajima's serious face lasted three full seconds before it broke into a relentless smirk again.

"Alright," he said, "but just don't let whatever's bugging you, bugs you too much," he continued and tapped Hanai's shoulders nonchalantly, before hopping off merrily to join others on the pitch. Hanai could only watch from the distance, as his heart beat faster than he could remember.

Because he had finally realized.

Tajima had been the source of his insecurity, because the hyper midget was so much better a batter than he could ever be.

Tajima was the reason why he was always challenging himself, in order to be a better player on the pitch, and be an even better captain for everyone.

Tajima was the one person who could make _that_ much of a difference in him.

As Hanai walked towards the pitch, he reinforced to himself that Tajima was indeed, a huge idiot.

Yet Tajima had been the most natural answer to Hanai's own questions all along...but it took him this long to grasp it.

And that made Hanai understand that the _bigger_ idiot was strictly himself.

* * *

(What would make Hanai feel like a bigger idiot is the fact that Tajima knows what his captain was thinking about, but pretends like he hasn't got a clue...because...he doesn't want Hanai to feel more miserable than he already is. winks)


End file.
